New Goals Don’t Deliver New Results, New Lifestyles Do

Here’s How To Create Long Lasting Change

Let’s Talk About the List

We’ve all done them; multiple times. Hundreds even. Possibly even thousands of times.

They’re great. They are the first steps in making the invisible, visible.

And I’m sure you’ve believed (as much I have) that what you’ve written down, dreamed of or even committed to, would last, but they never really do.

Most of us have also written list after list of the things we want to do or of future plans, the ones that might otherwise read ‘how do I get from here to there.’

You know the lists I’m talking about.

These things are done with excitement, creativity and enthusiasm, which is what all dreams should contain, but they are all too often not actualised.

That’s because of what James Clear so wonderfully said — ‘New goals don’t deliver new results. New Lifestyles do.’

So, let’s talk about how to create long lasting change.

And the good news is that a new lifestyle can be changed in as little as 21 days.

The 21 Day Rule

It’s said that 21 days is the threshold for breaking old habitual patterns or solidifying new ones, so that’s the good news. The bad news is that quite often along that road it can feel struggle some, effortful and even hopeless at times.

That’s just the mind creating thoughts to get it back to an old self it was comfortable with.

Growing pains are painful!

The neurons in the brain that need to fire and wire together in order to make a new pattern last (which typically takes 21 days), can be similar to those in how a sweater is sewn together.

If the sweater was only sewed using very few stitches, it won’t last. If the sweater is sewed with a seam and a few more stitches, it may last longer but it will still fall apart.

Sew it properly however, with seams and all, and the sweater can last through even the thickest of winters.

A good sweater takes time. And so does creating new lifestyles, especially if we’re having to undo a few things to start with.

I use this analogy to hopefully show the process visually to show that it really does take time, care and repitition (day after day for 21 days), especially if you are at the beginning of a journey towards either changing an old habit or creating a new one. Both take time and dedication.

But one thing is for sure, if you want to stop writing lists, or certainly start writing new ones, then changing your lifestyle to suit whatever you’re wanting to change is the only way to make them last.

Creating A Supportive Structure

If you want to quit smoking but are constantly stressed out, down the pub and around people that smoke, it’s going to be infinitely harder to quit, at least initially.

If you want to get fit but have no equipment or clothing to help you, or at the very least to motivate you, then it’s going to be infinitely harder to get going.

If you’re trying to lose weight but your cupboards are full of sugary snacks that tempt you into ‘oh, go on then. I’ll start tomorrow.’ You’re going to have a treacherous time ever getting through one day.

If you aspire to become a writer with lists of platforms to share, lists of punchy headlines and publishers that you’re going to submit your work to but never actually write anything or send it off to anyone, you’re never going to be a writer.

I know as this was me for too many years!

So if you want to create more abundance in your life but are stuck doing the same old same old, the same old is going to be repeated time and time again.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” — Tony Robbins

For things to move we have to create space for them to move into. This is the way the universe works. It’s only when we tell the universe we’re ready does it really start to move the things we’re ready for towards us.

And the more we repeat this and then repeatedly believe this to be true, those neurons in the brain keep firing and wiring themselves together to solidify the circuits to make the change real.

Overcoming Doubt

We musn’t doubt our own power to manifest what we want into our lives, or the speed it’s taking to arrive. If we do, the thing we’ve just created space for and what is now moving towards us, slows down.

This is why it can feel like it takes a very long time before it ever arrives.

By staying consistent in our actions and in our thoughts, whatever it might be will make its way towards you. Then all you have to do is be open enough to receive it when it arrives.

By being consistent for at least 21 days, and continuing on to 40 days, then to 60, 90, 120 and even further still, we often see a dramatic change that has long lasting effects.

The neurons then know where to go, and they know how to get there. You’ve built the infrastructure for them to cross safely and easily, so they do.

Then it’s not something written on a list, or a strugglesome task you have to perform or convince yourself to do, it’s in you. It’s performed and done with gratitude, even on the particularly hard days.

Trusting the Process

But don’t be alarmed that once you set yourself on this path if the mind wants to throw all kinds of easy get out of free jail cards at you. Or ‘why dont we start that tomorrow’. Or any of the other garbage the mind can conjure up to make you less than who you are, even though it knows how great it will feel whenever you get there.

That’s the mind trying to get you back to where it feels comfortable.

Putting Things Into Perspective

Override those first inital impulses to quit or procrastinate, they soon go (to put it into perspective to a whole life — what’s 21 days really?) and then they are replaced with a life full of joy, possibility, deep trust and knowing.

That’s where the magic happens.

Take a 21 day challenge here and breathe your new self into being.