A Spooky Story That Continues to Shape My Life
Last December, my girlfriend was diagnosed with a chronic disease that threatened her fertility.
Surgery seemed inevitable although she decided to wait.
Initially, it was scary. I wanted to act fast but I also didn’t want to influence her decision. She moves at a much slower pace than me so I had to surrender to the mystery of life, stand by her side, and let it play out as it will.
She dived head first into the healing journey, first by changing her diet and then by doing everything from acupuncture and Chinese medicine to energy and ancestral work.
It’s been remarkable to witness her commitment, strength, and curiosity during this time and to see how that has impacted her physical and mental health.
That got us to the point where we were in the surgeon’s office a week ago about to sign consent forms when he said “I’ve got a curve ball for you.”
That curveball was to postpone surgery as new data emerged that could make the procedure less invasive. “There are no guarantees but it’s worth a shot. What do you think?” He said.
Of course, my girlfriend and I agreed.
However, I’m acutely aware, even more so because of the last nine months, that things that appear bad might turn out to be a blessing in disguise and things that appear good might have dark secrets lurking in the future.
So, I’m not celebrating too soon. I’m containing my excitement until we’ve made it through to the end of the year as that’s when we’ll know more about how to move forward. But even then, I’ll contain my excitement because of a powerful story I first heard from Alan Watts.
It’s called The Story of Maybe and it goes like this.
The Story of Maybe
Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbour's came around to commiserate him. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse ran away. This is most unfortunate.”
“Maybe.” The farmer said.
The next day, as the farmer woke up, he saw that his horse had returned but this time it had brought seven wild horses with it. That brought his total number of horses to eight.
In the evening all the neighbours came back around and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events!”
“Maybe.” The farmer said again.
The following day his son tried to ride one of the horses but he was thrown off and subsequently broke his leg. This was very bad news as his son helped him farm the land.
The neighbours came around once more to commiserate the farmer. “Oh dear, that’s too bad. What bad luck!”
However, the farmer knew better. “Maybe.” He responded.
The next day, as his son lay in bed, the conscription officers came round to conscript all the young men into the army but they rejected the farmer’s son because of his broken leg.
All the neighbours gathered one final time and said, “Isn’t that great! You’re so lucky that your son gets to stay home. I sure wish mine were here too.”
“Maybe.” The wise farmer simply replied.
If this story were to continue something “bad” would happen to his son while he was at home. Then that something bad would lead to something “good” and so on.
The Story of Maybe is how I now live my life. Whatever happens, I try and take it in my stride, neither letting it drag me down or buoy me up too much. I try and keep a balanced mind, one of peace, contentment, and trust. One where external forces don’t disturb my inner world.
It’s not always easy but as Alan Watts once said:
“The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.”
My girlfriend’s unfortunate diagnosis has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. She’s healthier, happier, and more on purpose than ever before.
So, what seems dark and scary can actually become light and beautiful. If nothing else, the last 9 months have taught me that much.
When I first started reading, I thought I should send a response to this email and tell him about the story of maybe! thank you for developing the concept of that story to make it even more meaningful. Love the Watts quote!